Monday, July 1, 2013

24 Balancing Motherhood

The Importance of Balance in Motherhood!

Many people ask me...
"How did you handle it when your girls left for college?"
"What do you do with all your spare time?" 
"How should I prepare for the "Empty Nest?"
These are all excellent questions but we shouldn't start asking them when our children are applying for college....preparing for "The Empty Nest" should begin LONG before that.....it should begin the day you become a Mother! 

Preparing for the "Empty Nest" Starts the Day 

You Become a Mother

WHAT??? That is ridiculous....I have at least 18 years to prepare for that DREADED moment....that is NOT something I will think about now....

I know, I know...you think I'm crazy! Truthfully, I would have said the SAME thing if someone had told me this....but I have lived it and discovered, it isn't about PREPARING for the "Empty Nest", it is about learning the "Balance of Motherhood"

The Critical Balance of Motherhood

Being a Mom is an all consuming job but remember how important it is NOT to lose yourself! 
I was guilty! My life revolved around my girls...we get so immersed in our children's needs and desires....soccer, ballet, new clothes, doctor appointments, school, football tryouts, honor roll, girl scouts, hair cuts, sleep overs, boy scouts, cheer leading, basketball, play groups, first crush, broken hearts...We end up forgetting what we enjoyed before we had children in the first place.

After my girls were both in college... I needed to rediscover ME and find the Sharon that was buried beneath the Mom.... 

I wish I had never lost her in the first place.... But YOU don't have to....if you just give yourself some balance!

BALANCE....BALANCE....BALANCE

Think Time ~ Ask yourself these questions...
  • What do you enjoy doing?  

  • What things (not involving your children) bring you joy and happiness? 

  • Start a journal and write these things down, it could be small ~ like having a cup of coffee on the back porch or riding your bike on the beach. 

Schedule time for YOU...

The person you will still be ~ Long after your babies have grown!

 

Schedule Time for YOU 

This is imperative! I have friends that hate to leave their children with anyone....I know how hard that can be. 
  • Consider a "kid swap" with a trusted friend. (you will both get some "me" time while trading off)
  • Find a local Mother's Morning Out Program
  • Talk to other Moms and get ideas about programs in your area.

 Schedule Time For Dating

This is an area I never let slide...and why I have been happily married for almost 27 years! (Wow...I feel OLD!)



Many couples become strangers while raising children.  The children become the only thing they have in common...when the children are grown... well... let me just say... 
no one wants to live with a STRANGER!!  

Need help in this area?? Don't worry it is only a click away! One of the BEST resources I love to use is The Dating Divas.  Their motto is "Strengthening Marriage, One Date at a Time!" Hop over and plan your next date night!!


The Power of Girl~Friends

Never underestimate the power of girlfriends! 

We may let these relationships slide in the midst of Motherhood. 
Rekindle old friendships, and look for new friends at the gym, church or other social event. 

Surrounding yourself with positive people gives you a strong support system that is essential to female happiness!  
The Power of Girlfriends
Oh...my friends...my WONDERFUL FRIENDS! I am very fortunate to have some amazing ladies that call me friend!! Some, like my buddy Kim, have been in my life for 20+ years...other relationships are not as old established. They are all unique and I love them for different reasons.  These fantastic women are only a phone call or text away.  They listen, hold my hand, cry and laugh with me!  

WOMEN NEED WOMEN! 

My friends lifted my spirit when the house got real quiet...real fast!

I LOVE meeting new people everyday and adding to my support system! Spending time with friends is a natural part of the human spirit.  

There will come a day when your children would rather spend time with their friends...if you have your own established friendships, you will understand this transition and it won't hurt your feelings...(well not as much)


Achieving Motherhood Balance

Do we ever achieve the "perfect" balance?  I don't think so.  Sometimes life leads us to focus on one area more heavily for a while...and that's okay! 

Just Remember 

~YOU~

The Person You will Still Be... 

Long after your Babies have Grown!

 

What do you think? How do you find the balance? Any ideas or suggestions to add?
I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for Reading
xoxo  







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/ ( mm / dd )

24 comments:

  1. Great post - have pinned it, Alice @ Mums Make Lists

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    1. I appreciate that Alice...it means a lot! We all need to find a Balance!!
      Thanks for the "pin"!
      xoxo

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  2. Thank you so much for your feature, Sharon! Ummm.... how are you already an empty nester?? You don't look old enough to have college-aged daughters, you cute thing, you!! What a great post! AMEN to everything you said!! XOXO, The Dating Divas

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    1. Awww...Tara, you know how to make a gals day!! Must of had those babies when I was just a baby! : )
      You deserve the feature...you guys have awesome ideas on your site to keep the "love alive" in marriage.
      I appreciate you taking the time to come read my advice!
      xoxo

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  3. I have a long time to go before the kids are grown, but this is great advice! Thank you for sharing at Give Me The Goods!

    Dimples & Pig Tales

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    1. I appreciate you stopping by and reading this Amber. It is so easy to lose your self in motherhood and before you know it...the children are grown. Then you have to discover yourself all over again. That can be an extremely painful and lonely process for some women.
      xoxo

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  4. Hi Sharon - thank you so much for joining us at Best of the Weekend and sharing this great post for all Moms! Hope that you have a wonderful weekend!

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    1. Thanks Cindy! I am thrilled that you stopped by and read it!!
      Huge Fan of Claire...and the Best of the Weekend!
      Hope you have an amazing weekend as well!
      xoxo

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  5. Wonderful post! My son just graduated from college and has been living at home but likely to be leaving his nest rather soon.♥ Thanks for the tips.

    Thanks for sharing on the BeBetsy BRAG ABOUT IT.

    Sharon and Denise
    Fashion | Food | Beauty | Out & About | Morning Coffee

    Follow us:
    Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Bloglovin ~ Pinterest

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    1. Thank you ladies!! I'm so honored that you stopped by and read it!!
      xoxo

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  6. I have a four year old and I am a stay at home mom. I think that I have lost my whole identity to my son and I am trying to fight my way back to having an identity. I just started reading and trying to do a few things for myself but sometimes I feel like I am living in olden times and if I take a second to rest or be by myself that I am being selfish. I am having a hard time balancing because my scale usually tips towards my son. I am going to make a bigger effort to make time for myself and my husband. Thanks for the reminder :)

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    1. Alison...Don't feel alone! We all feel selfish if we want some "ME" time...and we should NOT feel that way. Guilt seeps in...BUT you deserve to be an individual as well as an awesome Mom.
      I'm so proud of you...that you are working on a balance! I believe that finding some time for yourself helps alleviate some stress and makes you a more "effective" mom!
      Keep me posted!
      xoxo

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  7. Thanks for all the tips!! And my God, you look great!!
    Selene @ Restoration Beauty

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    1. Selene...you sweet thing! Made me smile from ear to ear!!
      xoxo

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  8. Such fabulous words of wisdom! We have to realize that we're not abandoning our children and being a mom if we take a little time to nurture our own interests. My kids love to come watch me run in a race. They get to cheer me on, just like I cheer them on at their games.

    Thank you so much for linking up to Motivation Monday!

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    1. I totally agree Barb. I'm sure your children have learned how important it is to foster individual interests from the example you've set! Plus cheering on Mom in a race must be a blast for them!
      Thanks for hosting...we all need motivation from each other!
      xoxo

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  9. Very nice article, my baby girl is heading off to college August 17, and we are wondering what is next. We really can't save ALL the rescue dogs....

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    1. Awww Julie...filling that nest without going overboard, that might be a great idea for a post.
      It is an adjustment but I have settled happily into my nest stage.
      Good luck to your baby girl, where is she going?
      Keep me posted on your adjustment and remember I'm only an email or comment away if you need some support!
      xoxo

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  10. Wow this is something I really hadn't thought about. My baby girl is 19 month and my life pretty much revolves around her even with my blog in the middle. But thinking and analyzing this last 19 month I think I have a bit of balance, since I have a very structured routine for Emma, that gives me some me time, Blog time, hubby time... But still there is no scape from having half of myself thinking and caring about her. It seems difficult, when I just leave her for 2 hours to make some "me" errands I feel nostalgic and guilty, that is something I should work on right? This post is a great reminder, Thank you for sharing this with me at my Party!

    XOXO
    Cami @ TitiCrafty!

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    1. Thanks for reading Cami! Sounds like you are trying to keep a balance. It is hard to leave our baby(s)...even for an hour or two.
      Just keep active with your interests and you'll be fine!
      xoxo

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  11. Beautifully written--you've offered really sound advice here! Thanks for letting others learn from your experiences! :)

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    1. Thank you Richella! I hope his post will help other Moms find balance!
      Thanks for reading!
      xoxo

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  12. Great post! I had feel this way lately, I spend lots of hours, days and months alone, due to my husband work, and we definitely need to work in spending time alone.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment Remy!

      My hubby and I get so busy we often have to schedule time to spend together. This is imperative to a happy healthy marriage.

      Try to surprise him with a little date, something simple like star gazing in the backyard with a blanket and bottle of wine. Quality Time to appreciate each-other!
      xoxo

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